Anthony, our eldest, just stormed out of here upset with me. I made him go to his hockey tournament this weekend. The team that we collectively went back and forth on him joining. I am currently ruining his life because I am making him follow through on a commitment. Commitment, oh that word always gets me. People always say with such gumption," You made a commitment!!!" We have this guilt as a society that we do not want to look like the snowflake, the person that is hesitant or wary in a situation. Being strong to that commitment can really screw with a persons psyche. You can go as deep as the sanctity of a marriage or whether you want to have that drink or not? Go deeper-do you believe in God? If you don't, do you reveal that to others? Because that is not accepted. Or do you want to commit to a cold or iced coffee on a winters day when it is cold as ice out, but cold coffee just sounds better. These are all commitments that we choose and follow through on. Part of me wants to recognize that he is feeling like he is not playing to his potential and wants to quit, owning that its okay because I don't want his heart to hurt. The other part of me just screamed," Too bad, you made a commitment to your team. To my wallet. We are not quitters." But, doesn't he have that right. It is his commitment, not mine.
Deep inside, I also feel like a hypocrite. Commitment is hard for me, too. On many levels-whether it is marriage (divorced X1, cancelled wedding X1), changed jobs multiple times, and man do I go back and forth on iced versus hot Carmel Macchiatos on a daily basis. GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Do as I say, not as I do. Do as I say, not as I do. Do as I say, not as I do.
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